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well. gonna throw out all my bad feeling.

its about... you know la. my hubbies. SS501.
it was a sunny morning when I found a realllllll bad news that make me sooooo down like crazy. i didnt think that i will face a such condition. damn. i havent got prepared yet! never got a feeling that this would happening.

i opened my twitter page and read the tweets come out on my timeline one by one. once i read a tweet that was showing an URL, with a crying emoticon --> :'(. i was so curious, but still didnt get a feeling of bad news. it might be about.... nothing. I THOUGHT.

but then, I clicked the link and wait the internet loaded the content of the page. its a blog, a KPOP fanblog. it showed a post. the title of the post itself made me truly down alrd. it was "KIM HYUN JOONG LEAVES DSP AND SS501"

i thot, "what the heck! impossible! this news must be lying". then i read the entry of the post. it said that my leader, my Kim Hyun Joong had signed an exclusive contract with KeyEast agency owned by actor Bae Yong Jun.

trust me. i was really shocked. tears fallin down on my cheeks. suddenly leader's old promise come out to my mind.

"I wont leave DSP even if they pay me a million. except if DSP kick me out"

"I'm going to be with SS501 until the 50th anniversary!"

and that made me even more sad. how come he broke his promises?? what does he think on his mind, until he decide to leave DSP and SS501??

those unanswerable question keep ruining my mind. I tried to believe him, with his promises, but it was really hard. what will you do if the fact says the opposite? easily ignore it?

lucky you. because i cant do that good. i was really mad. i even thot, "did he decide to out from DSP because he wanted to be famous? more that his current popularity? or he did out of DSP because of contract payment? is it more than a million?"

i tweeted my feelings, and you know what? several TS blamed be, and others said, "dont judge him like that T.T"

i felt really sorrrrrry. how could i blame and judge him like that?! harsh.

rightafter, i tried harder to believe in him more. my twitter friend, danika unni said that people are changing. HyunJoong might be changing too.

i know. everything do changing except the changes itself.

then what to do?? i was really mad, really want to blame someone but i dont know who! i released my anger to my tweets, confess and declare whats in my mind so that ppl know. actually, I did hope KeyEast and HyunJoong see. what a fool.

but I did believe that HyunJoong always love his otter, gorilla, horse and turtle.

suddenly, my mind recalled SS501's funny and lovely moments, in their TV programs like thanks for waking us up, the mission, idol world, etc..

and suddenly, their lovely brothership come into my mind as well as their moments.

HyunJoong always bring KyuJong's photo in his passport. once when he got to Japan for a promo, a fan asked him, "why oppa bringing KyuJong's photo??" and he replied "for me to see if I miss him in japan ^^"

that kind of things successfully made me bursted with tears but also made me believe them 501%. i know HyunJoong won't leave his brothers. what will happen to Baby if he leaves? i cant imagine. thats why HyunJoong won't leave SS501 ^^

lets all hoping for SS501's very best future.

Label: confession, menurut saya, saya, SS501

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hehe~ I know it'd be a junkies but its okay anyway, since it is my own blog. I'll tell about several boys I think about all the time. mostly. keke.

1. SS501. I put them in one place bcause all of them are in the same room in my heart, LOLs. but there's still a chart on the 1st place. well thats quite confusing =___=

members [sorted depends on their age]:
a. Kim Hyun Joong #1

Label: aneh aneh, image, menurut saya, saya, SS501

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annyeong~!
uh~ actually rite now I'm totally upset, because of a silly butthead who doesnt know what she said. but anyway let me tell the beautiful dream first.

jd gini, tp pagi tuh gw mimpi indah banget seindah-indahnya, meskipun bkn yg pertama, tp tetep aja sensasinya gimanaaa gitcu. mimpinya pastilah tentang #SS501
dong, hehe.

gue ga inget persis gmn awalnya, tp yg pasti di mimpi itu gw lg ada di bus, dimana di dalem bus itu ada SS501! gilaaaa~~~~ sambil berkaca2 gue datengin seat mereka trus gw ngmg.

"excuse me.. may I take pic of you three?"

gue gatau kenapa mereka cuma bertiga, yg jelas di situ cuma ada Lead, Kyu, ama Saengie. mana lead *yg mana org yg paling gue cinta seidup semati<-- lebay* malah lg tidur, jd gue ngmgnya ama Kyu dan Saengie. gpp, tetep aja gue seneng 501%.

Kyu jawab. "yes please!" dengan senyumnya yg menawan bak seorang pangeran dari negeri awan. *sebenernya ga segininya juga sih*

trus gue foto2 deh, Kyu mah biasa aja tp si Saengie gaya2an ga jelas. emg dasar narsis xDD

tp tiba2 ada ibu2 dateng, pake kerudung. dia bilang "jangan foto2! busnya lg jalan"

gue sebel trus ngeliat ke arah Kyu. Kyu senyum manis trus gue bales trus gue balik ke seat gw sendiri. udah gitu gue ga inget gmn lanjutannya, tp tetep aja gue seneng banget xD

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and it is about the butthead.

wth banget dia tiba2 ngetweet "Gue ANTI-Korea! Kl nyanyi udah kayak mau tawuran, orangnya banyak banget"

ih please deh ya, emg siapa aja sih YANG NYANYINYA KAYAK MO TAWURAN??
lo udh kyk yg tau segalanya aja deh. padahal setau gue kebanyakan boyband ato girlband kr tu orangnya 5-7 org. emg ada yg lebih dr itu, tp cuma beberapa. palingan SUJU, SNSD, After School. trus apa lagi gitu? sotoy bener deh jd orang.

terserah ajasih lo mo anti korea apa engga. not my bussiness banget deh. tp pls deh kalo gatau jgn ngomong. paling sebel gue. apalagi ni bkn temen gw, cm kenal selintas. yg gw ga pake mikir lah mo ngontrog apa ngga.

hhhh sebel.

contohnya aja ni, boyband kesukaan gw banget, orangnya cuma 5 tuh. makanya jgn sotoy.
trus pasti lu ngmg gt soalny belum tau kan gmn kualitasnya? main ngejudge aja deh. kalo gatau diem aja.

ngiranya alay gitu? cupu? ga keren? lonya aja yg kyk gitu. blm tau sih.
gue rasa kualitasny org kr emg hebat bgt ko, ortu gw aja ngakuin. jgn bangga bisa tau band2 US yg banyak disukain orang deh. biasa aja. be different is always better.

Label: important, lagu, menurut saya, SS501, teman-teman

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eheh emang bener yaa kalo kita mo nyadarin bahwa kita itu suka dan sayang mungkin cinta sma seseorang itu kita harus ditinggal dulu sama orang itu? ah kalo kata gue sih engga jugaaa. kalo menurut guee, perasaan kita itu diatur sama mood kita. yakan yadong? hehe. tapi banyak banget yg bilang kalo kita itu seringkali ga sadar kalo kita sayang sama seseorang, dan kita baru sadar waktu orang itu ninggalin kita, saat kita udah gapunya kesempatan untuk nyadarin kalo kita masi sayang sama orang itu. tapi yaaaaa, pengalaman gue mah engga gitu. mungkin aja ada benernya sih, kan pengalaman orang beda beda. kalo gue sih gini.
jadi kan pas kapan gitu pernah. gue lagi sebbbbeeeell ga nahhan sama si diaa. ih ga enak yah disebutnya si dia. x aja heeh. sama si x. nah itu teh gara garanya waktu kapan itu teh si x 'asa' tiis, asa males jawab sms gue, asa begitudeeeh. nah kalo hipotesa gue sih yaa, itu teh karna game -_______- dasar maniac. yaa terus, besoknya gue dapet kabar buruk. ternyata ada cowo keren bangeeeeet ngeceng gue *alah!* udah enggak tapinya. nah si anya -yang ngabarin gue- bilang
anya : mereun masih dee! udah coba kmu sms aja (padahal saat itu kita lg disekolah--classmeet)
dee : heeh ya? tp gue gapunya pulsa men!
anya : hayu beli lah! gue juga mo beli da!
dee : gimana keluar gerbangnya, on
anya : bilang aja deh mo motokopi ini (sambil ngangkat lembar bing)
dee : heeh bener. youre so great! *alah ga deng gue ga blg gini
ahirnya kita berusaha buat keluar. baju gue sama anya keluar. mangfusss kalo ketemu bu poni *disamarkan* bakalan gaboleh keluar lagi ah. yaudah aja kita benerin dan siapin tampang 'saya tidak berbohong'. trus kita ke ruang piket. disana ada pak bagja AGUNG dan bu poni. untung baju kita sudah masuk (baca: dilipat). trus kita bilang
kita : pa bagjaaaa kita mo keluar dong mao motokopi ini buat pebaikan bing
pb : emng ada gitu?
kita : ada pak, ni kertasnya *padahal itu no need to difotokopi.
pb : yaudah sana. jangan lama
kita yes yesan gitu deh diluar. trus ngeliat ada tukan cisi *disamarkan juga*. aku teh pen beli mumpung diluar, tp si emangnya gada kembalian. siallll. terus kita ngelanjutin perjalanan ke tukang fotkopi (baca: konter pulsa). disana gue beli goceng anya juga. buat smsan sm si keren aja laaaah. trus kita balik kesekolah dengen sumringah. sebenernya gue aja yg mustinya sumringah, kan gue yg mo smsan sm si keren. tp dia ikutan. katanya dia juga mau sms si keren. eleuh dasarrrrrr.
terus aku sms dia.
hey, *i*
dengan cepat si keren bales.
hey juga..
gue ama anya terus mikir. what!? cuman gitu ajah balesannya? alaaaah ga rame. geus ah gausah bales guenya juga males tiis gitu -___________-
tapi kata anya, biasanya si keren suka sms dobel dobel. waaaw thats good.
lama ditunggu dia blmjuga sms. soalny hape di saku gue ga geter geter. errrh. kita teh ngelupain itu weh, trus maen maen. pas gue coba liat hape gue. you know what!? TERNYATA INBOX PENUH JADI GABISA NERIMA SMS. siaaaaaaaaaaaaaalann. gue apus weh 1 buah sms dr si x. ahirnya sms masuk dr si keren. katanya
hey, tumben sms. kenapa?
gitcuuuu. yeaaaaaaaay! lgsg gue bales weh. smsan deeeeh. hahaha. tp gue yakin bener kalo perasaan seneng gue saat itu CUMA karena gue seneng ada cowo keren ngeceng gue pada saat itu. yakaannn?
nah. jadi kesimpulan wacana diatas adalah, gini.
gue lagi sebel sama si x. ditambah lagi ada si keren yg waktu itu ngeceng gue. jadi tambah tambah lah. gitcu. tapi kan lama lama juga keselnya ama x ilang, ama si keren juga. jadi kembali seperti semula gituuuuh. terus ada cerita lagi tentang hubungannya mood dan perasaan sayang.
jadi gini. kemaren pas gue 4bulanan, bertepatan dengan saat PMS gue. pas 4bulanan itu gue bete banget sumpahnya, soalnya, itu teh berapa-bulanan pertama yg kita bisa ketemu disekolah. seengganya senyum ke, nyapa kek, apa kek gitu. INI MAH, oh goooooooooodddd its really made me gloom. bener deh yaaa, mendingan kita gausah ketemu tau ga sih kalo lagi berapa-bulanan. sumpeh. mana teh malemnya, si x ga ngsms gue sampe jam setengah sepuluh malem. saat itu gue beneran kesel banget banget, dan gue masih nungguin sambil duduk dan baca novel padahal udah ngantuk.
22:35
gue beneran ga sabar, yaudah gue tutup novel terus berusaha tidur. tapi gabisaaaa. z. terus a few after that si x FINALLY ngsms. tp kan gue udah bete duluan, jd males. dia ngsms nanya gue ud tdur apabelom. gue jawab 'udah' gitu. trus terahir2nya, krna gue sebel dia SAMASEKALI ga ngucapin, gue sms gini.
oh yaudah deh aku tdur aja. ngantuk.
met malem.
SELAMAT 4 BULANAN.
gpp kmu gainget juga.
sms ini jangan dibales.
terus gue sengaja biarin inbox gue penuh biar gada sms yg bisa masuk. pas besoknya gue liat. ada alerts di hp gue.
memori inbox penuh! hapus sms lama bla bla bla
terserah. gue gamau liat ada sms dr si x. tp ko lama lama penasaran juga, yaudah gue coba hapus satu sms. trnyata bener sms dr si x. halah. gue bete bercampur geleuh campur seneng dikit. hehe. terus gue buka tu sms. katanya dia teh bla bla bla. gue nganggep itu alesan doang. and I'm a hundred percent dont care.
tapi pas malemnya, gue sms dia gini.
ngapain sih kirim sms banyak banget? -,-
org disuruhnya jangan bales juga ih
dia malah bilang buat antisipasi? hah what r u talking about. disitu teh gue masi bete banget. tp smsan lama lama ko gue jadi asa biasa aja, jadi kea gimana gituh *alah*. trus teh gue jadi luluh pas dia bilang kalo dia beneran inget. duh jangan jangan gue yg salah lagi ah. trus yagitudeh yagitudeh. haha. tp beneran deh yaaaa, perasaan kita itu tergantung mood, kalo lo ngerasa ga sayang krna lo marah sp tau lo bakal sayang lagi dengan berjalannya waktu *eleuh
terus terus, kenapa yah suami istri bisa tahan bertaun taun ga bosen? padahal yah, kalo menurut gue gini. pertama kita jadian kita pasti sayang banget banget sama pacar kita. itu pertama. nah selanjutnya, kita bakal nemu kekurangan pacar kita, terus kalo kita gabisa nerima kekurangan itu kita pasti gabakal tahan. gue udah ngerasain sendiri. kekurangan mereka itulah yg bisa ngurangin rasa sayang kita. beneraaaaaaaan sumpah. duh! haha tapi yang kali ini gue gamau berakhir ga berarti kea yg laen laen, kali ini gue mau menjaga hati -meskipun sumpahnya makan hati terus saben hari- tapi yaaa kita coba :D

Label: experience, menurut saya, saya

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