im living in a hidden room, i sing and dance alone with the flow of unstoppable musics. me? find it out yourself!

and please remember, that I'm a dancing flow!

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well you, Mr. H. I've been crazy over you for this whole week because a lil unpredictable incident that I think was...... common. I'm losing mind because of you, but everything seems so hopeless. know you isnt a bad thing, but love you is no more than wasting every worthy times I had by think about 'will you send me a msg again?' or 'what he's doing now?' or 'does he has a crush?' and other foolish thoughts.

I do waiting for a feedback acts from you but tonight, because of a certain thing, I know you won't. thankyou. I wish you were not you. not the one that I met.

Label: confession, saya, sekolah, teman-teman, wishes

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well. gonna throw out all my bad feeling.

its about... you know la. my hubbies. SS501.
it was a sunny morning when I found a realllllll bad news that make me sooooo down like crazy. i didnt think that i will face a such condition. damn. i havent got prepared yet! never got a feeling that this would happening.

i opened my twitter page and read the tweets come out on my timeline one by one. once i read a tweet that was showing an URL, with a crying emoticon --> :'(. i was so curious, but still didnt get a feeling of bad news. it might be about.... nothing. I THOUGHT.

but then, I clicked the link and wait the internet loaded the content of the page. its a blog, a KPOP fanblog. it showed a post. the title of the post itself made me truly down alrd. it was "KIM HYUN JOONG LEAVES DSP AND SS501"

i thot, "what the heck! impossible! this news must be lying". then i read the entry of the post. it said that my leader, my Kim Hyun Joong had signed an exclusive contract with KeyEast agency owned by actor Bae Yong Jun.

trust me. i was really shocked. tears fallin down on my cheeks. suddenly leader's old promise come out to my mind.

"I wont leave DSP even if they pay me a million. except if DSP kick me out"

"I'm going to be with SS501 until the 50th anniversary!"

and that made me even more sad. how come he broke his promises?? what does he think on his mind, until he decide to leave DSP and SS501??

those unanswerable question keep ruining my mind. I tried to believe him, with his promises, but it was really hard. what will you do if the fact says the opposite? easily ignore it?

lucky you. because i cant do that good. i was really mad. i even thot, "did he decide to out from DSP because he wanted to be famous? more that his current popularity? or he did out of DSP because of contract payment? is it more than a million?"

i tweeted my feelings, and you know what? several TS blamed be, and others said, "dont judge him like that T.T"

i felt really sorrrrrry. how could i blame and judge him like that?! harsh.

rightafter, i tried harder to believe in him more. my twitter friend, danika unni said that people are changing. HyunJoong might be changing too.

i know. everything do changing except the changes itself.

then what to do?? i was really mad, really want to blame someone but i dont know who! i released my anger to my tweets, confess and declare whats in my mind so that ppl know. actually, I did hope KeyEast and HyunJoong see. what a fool.

but I did believe that HyunJoong always love his otter, gorilla, horse and turtle.

suddenly, my mind recalled SS501's funny and lovely moments, in their TV programs like thanks for waking us up, the mission, idol world, etc..

and suddenly, their lovely brothership come into my mind as well as their moments.

HyunJoong always bring KyuJong's photo in his passport. once when he got to Japan for a promo, a fan asked him, "why oppa bringing KyuJong's photo??" and he replied "for me to see if I miss him in japan ^^"

that kind of things successfully made me bursted with tears but also made me believe them 501%. i know HyunJoong won't leave his brothers. what will happen to Baby if he leaves? i cant imagine. thats why HyunJoong won't leave SS501 ^^

lets all hoping for SS501's very best future.

Label: confession, menurut saya, saya, SS501

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Jungminnie oppa~~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! saengil chukkae, selamat ulagtahun.
I can't believe now you're a 24 years old man! XD
now you've been a man, so behave like a man~! but please,
don't stop smiling. always and forever.
bcause it is the only thing make us smile. seeing your smile is the best thing I never knew I needed :)
so minnie oppa. I wish all the best thing for you.
I wish all you wanted all this time would become true.
I hope you'll always be the atmosphere maker of SS501
always love SS501. including baby jun :D
don't hit him anymore, okay XD~
eat well and stay healthy. I love you so much. neol saranghae~ ^^

Label: confession, important, SS501, wishes

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today,
what a special day~
really undescribable.
its not my graduation day, not valentine, not summer holiday, not lebaran day

IT'S MY KYU'S BIRTHDAY!

uoh~
if I can give sumthing special for him,
I will!
too bad, I'm here and he's flying upon the high sky, he's a star
my star, brighten up my life although it is rain.
because he's shining in my heart.
always and forever.

I bring the star with my footsteps,
and I hide it in my hold.
I won't let it go.

Kim Kyu Jong,
the one who made me fall for him, for SS501...
this birthday is special, as you are.

Happy Birthday Kyu,
we all love you =]

Label: confession, important, SS501, wishes

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kalo afgan punya album judulnya confession no. 1, I'd make the 501st kekeke..

well, mungkin ini bisa juga disebut puisi. terserah aja mo sebut apa. but the words come itself.


I love the one that I don't even know who.
they're so far apart, but I do love them all of my heart.

loving them is something similar like tryna' catch the stars.

when I look upward, I can see the shine comes to bright up the whole world.
then when I raise my hand, it seems that the stars are so close with me.
but when I grab my palm trying to catch them, I got nothing.
the stars still so far away from me.

sometimes it make me down
but the shines make me feel like they're beside.

so,
no matter if they're a star, and I'm nothing.
no matter if they're so far away from me.
no matter if they don't know, how much I love them.

I'll love them.
bcause I don't think that I'd be able to throw them away from my life.

the name I love, once in this life. has becoming further and further away from me. I write your name on my heart and keep it forever. since that day I realized that I'll love you forever. though we can't be together, it still known as love.

the name I love, SHINee

Label: aneh aneh, confession, saya, SS501

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Label: confession, important, saya, SS501

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